Negative versus positive self-talk
It can be easy to get into a pattern of negative self-talk – “I don’t know why I can’t seem to keep up – I must be stupid!” “These people are so much smarter than me.” “I just don’t know what I am doing here”. However, If you can learn how to turn that negative self-talk to positive self-talk (yes, it’s ok to talk to yourself!) – it can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional well-being, and can even lead to improved academic performance.
Lenton and colleagues (2016), found reduced stress and improved coping skills in college students who used positive self-talk. Another study found that positive self-talk leads to higher self-esteem, better grades, and optimism. (Klingsieck, 2013).
How can you get better at talking to yourself in a positive way?
First, recognize negative self-talk: you need to pay attention to thoughts that are running through your head – and figure out when you are talking to yourself in a critical or self-defeating way. Awareness is the first step to change.
Challenge negative thoughts: question why you are thinking the way you are. Pretend to be someone else and what they might say to you if they knew you were having those thoughts – try to think of alternative thoughts and why these thoughts might be incorrect.
Surround yourself with positive people: find and surround yourself with people who talk to themselves and others with positive talk.
Use positive affirmations: An easy way to put more positive self-talk into your life is to develop some short, positive phrases that you can repeat to yourself to counteract negative thoughts – “I can do this” “You are good enough for this” etc.