“Coping skills” are the way you deal with stressful events in your life – from taking an exam to the death of a loved one.
Coping skills are learned throughout childhood and may be partially determined by your personality, but you can improve your coping skills “tool box” so that you can handle any stressful event with ease. With a wide range of coping skills, you can be confident that you can handle challenges that come your way.
Ways to cope:
Use problem-solving: Example – your car breaks down and you are going to be late to work – what do you do next? Thinking through problems in a step-by-step way makes problems feel more manageable.
Be prepared: Knowing what to expect in a certain situation makes it easier to meet challenges as they arise. Are you wondering what it means to choose a certain major? Go to a club that is sponsored by the student organization and ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS – know what you are getting yourself into and make sure it is the right fit
Try re-framing: you failed an exam – take some time to be upset, reflect on your performance, then change your perspective on the situation – you can’t change the end result, but you can change how you feel about it and use it to your advantage. Go through the exam and learn the items you didn’t know the first time. Talk to your classmates and/or your professor if you still have some questions. Look forward to the next exam knowing that you can do better!
Finding social support: Using friends as support is a great coping strategy! Just bombed your midterm? Commiserate with a classmate. Just don’t let it go on too long – ruminating (thinking over and over again about the situation without action) is not good!
Examples of not-so-good coping skills:
Avoidance: You might have had a disagreement with your roommate and try to avoid the house, but the more you avoid the situation the worse things might feel.
Denial: pretending like something didn’t happen isn’t good for your mind and can cause more stress. For example, not apologizing for a misunderstanding with a good friend can lead to bad feelings and can even ruin a friendship if you aren’t careful.
Ways to improve your coping skills
Consider meditating – mediation forces you to focus on the moment. Being mindful of each moment and how you are feeling allows you to understand how you respond to stress. By understanding your mind, you will be able to control your emotions better.
Re-structure your thinking – begin to observe when you feel stress or unhealthy feelings and consider whether things are under your control or not, challenge those feelings then act accordingly.
Use journaling to write down your feelings –There are a lot of benefits to journaling – when you are stressed it can help clear your mind. Here are some example prompts if you have a hard time getting started.
Nourish your social circle – be open to meeting new people. Think about people you can call for help when you need it – even if it is just to reflect on something makes you feel sad or angry. Having a good social support network will make your life more meaningful.